Times a’changing

Red enjoying the race to the hay pastures

I am pleased that my previous post was all about Red, because it has turned out to be my last post as his owner. 

I am about to start a new venture which will take up a lot of time and energy.  Things are still at the formative stage at the moment, but hopefully I will be able to announce it fairly soon on my other blog.  With this in mind I have had to rearrange some of my commitments and this has meant re-thinking my responsibilities with regard to Dee and Red.

The solution we came up with has been to give Red to the Briwnant Riding Centre and to put Dee on retirement livery.  Our primary concern has been the welfare of the horses.  They are both settled and happy at Briwnant and we did not want to move either of them unless it was absolutely unavoidable.  Dee has become increasingly relaxed over the last year and is loved for the way she has taken it upon herself to look after the weaker members of the herd.   Briwnant seems as stable (no pun intended) as any situation can be in these times of recession, and we trust them completely with regard to the horses’ care.  The new arrangement means that the horses will not have to be unsettled at all – in fact they will probably be totally unaware of any difference.

Detail of the above picture with Red in the centre

We did not buy Red as an investment and so preferred to give him to Briwnant rather than sell him and possibly lose all contact with him.  Red will  continue to be used for lessons and enjoy regular hacks.  I will still be able to see him when I want to and even ride him if I have time. 

With regard to Dee, she will now get more attention more regularly from Briwnant staff so that I do not have to worry when I am busy and finding it difficult to get up to see her. 

I do feel a little sadness that Red is no longer ours, but I think this solution is better than selling Red and not knowing about his future.  Hopefully everything will work out for the best for everyone.

Settling in

Dee is safely settled in her new home. I was so proud of how she behaved from beginning to end. As I put on her tail bandage in preparation for the journey, she seemed to know that this meant something was happening. She stopped eating her haylage and became lively and interested in what was going on. She loaded onto the truck with minimal fuss – only needing a little encouragement from a bucket of feed. Once on, she was calm and made no fuss about being so close to another horse. I was a little worried about Red. He became upset when I took Dee to the truck. He kept calling for her, but there wasn't anything I could do for him as I had to go with Dee. (They told me today that he was fine and soon settled down.)

The journey was easy and uneventful. We stopped to unload Jess's horses at her place first. Dee—understandably—became a little restless when the other two mares were unloaded, and she was still on the truck, but I stroked her and talked to her and she quickly settled down again.

Unfortunately it was dark by the time we arrived at Gorgeous Grazing. This was not ideal and the decision had to be made as to which would be more acceptable for her: being turned out into a field she didn't know in the dark, but next to other horses; or being put into a stable on a yard she didn't know where there were no other horses. I decided on the former. I felt she would be happier being able to graze and stretch her legs near other horses. We were able to get her travel boots off and her turnout rug on while she was still on the truck. I led her down the ramp, paused while Kim removed her tail bandage, and then led her straight into the field. It seems to have been a good decision as she showed no sign of distress and quickly began to graze – in fact I think she was so thrilled to find such thick, long grass that she felt right at home. We kept her head collar on in case she became distressed and we had to catch her quickly. We then left Dee for an hour or so, returning to the field later to check her. She was grazing contentedly, so I took off her head collar and said goodnight to her.

Kim at Gorgeous Grazing is giving her hard feed every morning at the moment, as this is what she is used to, but we think she will not need it on top of haylage twice a day while there is still quite a lot of grass. All the horses will be given hard feed as soon as they need it. The following morning I went to see how she was. She didn't really want me too close at first – probably in case I was going to put her on a truck for 5 hours again – but soon let me stroke her. It wasn't a very nice morning in Cornwall on Tuesday: cold, foggy and a little drizzly; but Dee was warm and dry under her rug. I visited her again in the afternoon, and yesterday morning before I had to catch my train home. When I'd left her on Tuesday morning, she'd looked up as I went as if to check where I was, but yesterday she didn't even raise her head as I left the field. Dee has never been a demonstrative mare, so it is difficult to tell whether she feels lost or confused, but it did not appear so.

And me? All through the journey down in the truck I kept feeling I couldn't believe it was happening; am I really going to leave my beloved mare in a field 200 miles away with people I don't really know? The three days in Cornwall had a strange dream-like quality. I feel certain she will be content and well looked after. The field she is going to be in is huge – 20 acres – and she will be with 6 other mares of various ages and sizes. There are a few geldings in the field next to them. All the horses looked well and extremely calm, and it is so quiet and peaceful there. I know all this, but it is like leaving my child at boarding school. I'm so going to miss seeing her every day and have to stop torturing myself with thoughts of "what if she misses me or needs me and I'm not there?" 'What if' musings are always a complete waste of time because they are about an imagined or projected future and not about the present moment. As Dee seems so settled already, she will be out with her new friends by the end of the week.

Tears are very near the surface with me at the moment – especially writing this – but Kim is happy for me to phone as often as I like to ask how Dee is. It was strange being at Wyndham today with only Red to tend to, but he seemed pleased to see me at least. He's been moved to a different stable on the other side of the yard which I think he likes much better – he is next to his chums and more in the middle of things. Our previous stables were the two right at the farthest end, so there people did not walk past and say hello to him so much.

The last ride

Today we spent a long time at the stables. There was a lot of stuff to sort out in preparation for the new regime starting next week. Red will be on part livery, which means that I have to do everything for him for two days a week and the livery do everything for him for the other five. I will no longer need my feed bins as feed is included in the package, consequently I shall be giving up the little hut I have been using for storage. I am not sorry to lose the hut as it is becoming something of a liability. 'ö-Dzin put his foot through the floor last weekend and the roof is going to cave in any time soon. It already leaks quite badly. We've also brought Dee's tack home to vacate her space in the tack locker, and I've sold one of my storage cabinets as I will not need so much space. Red will also be moving to a new box, which I think he will quite like as he will be next door to one of his chums.

We went out for a ride through Coed-y-Wenallt in the glorious winter sunshine. It has been a lovely day – bright and sunny, and not too cold. We were happy that it was such a fine day for our last ride out together with both horses. Because the weather was so good, and both horses were happy and relaxed, we rode farther than we had intended. We decided to take our time today—even if it took all day—and simply spend as long as was necessary to enjoy our ride, complete our chores, and clear out the shed. It was nice to feel so relaxed and leisurely. The horses responded by being very slow and plodding to begin with, but did eventually liven up, especially when we met up with a few horses from Briwnant Trekking Centre and they wanted to tag along with them.

So tomorrow is the day of the big move. All preparations and arrangements are in place. My only concern is that Dee will play up on the truck, being so close to two horses. Hopefully a full net of haylage will keep her sweet. I shall be staying at a bed and breakfast for Monday and Tuesday and spending plenty of time with Dee on Tuesday to help her settle. I will try to blog as soon as possible on my return, with pictures of her new home. Please wish us luck for our journey.

The photograph was taken at the end of our last ride, on the track back up to the yard. 'ö-Dzin took it from Red's back, which is why the angle is a little odd.

Decisions

The decision has been reached and arrangements made to implement it. I don't know whether it is the best decision or the right decision, but it will leave us still owning both horses and able to cope with their expense and their care. Dee is going to an equine retirement home where she can live out the rest of her days in peaceful and beautiful countryside; Red is staying at Wyndham but on part livery which will be a lot less time and work for me. Hopefully I can start enjoying riding again rather than using up all my time and energy simple managing the food and waste production line.

I am in danger of slipping into eternalism over the numerous convenient coincidences that have arisen around the decision to retire Dee to a place called Gorgeous Grazing in Cornwall. Eternalism is one of the four philosophical extremes that are denied by Buddhism. These four are eternalism, nihilism, monism and dualism. Eternalism maintains that all circumstances unfold according to an unchangeable plan or design, denying the emptiness of the possibility of change or chance. Nihilism maintains that all actions are empty of meaningful value. Monism distorts non-duality by asserting that ‘everything is one;’ in denial of apparent distinctions and compassionate connections. Dualism denies non-duality by declaring that emptiness and form are divided.

The young woman who has the two stables next to ours lives in Cornwall but is in Cardiff at university. She has her horses with her term time and takes them home for holidays. Her home in Cornwall is very close to Gorgeous Grazing. She is going home for Christmas on Monday and taking her two horses in her truck that holds three horses, and is happy to give us a ride. Extraordinary. To be eternalist about these coincidences would be to say: "It is meant to be." I'm just going to enjoy my good fortune and feel happy that I can also help a student by paying her diesel for the trip home.

What do I feel about all this? I'm relieved that things are decided. I am sad that I shall be losing my close daily contact with Dee. I am glad that I shall be able to ride more and work less. I am relieved that I shall have time to work on important projects again. I'm also pretty confused about what I feel and anxious about how things will be for Dee. I shall be staying in Cornwall with her for a few days to see that she is settling down well.

The photograph demonstrates quite how close to the motorway the horses are in this field. This is the mares' field at the moment and Dee doesn't like it very much. She gets quite upset if she has to be there on her own, whereas she was never concerned about being on her own for a while in the field she was in before. Over the past year they have been widening this stretch of the motorway. They have planted trees all along the edge, so it will be better when the trees mature.